True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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