she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
