Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize