Taylor Swift is so right about you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
