Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
