he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
