hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
