she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wish my penis had a tongue
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
