watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
