with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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