the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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