I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
