I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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