Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
