fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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