Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I haven't been this sober since birth.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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