My friends, they love my intelligence
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
