I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
sarcasm needs its own font
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
