Pappa wants mamma naked
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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