I need help removing her.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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