Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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