My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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