so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
