She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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