The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
