Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
