We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
