im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
