thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize