Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
