Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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