hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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