i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
