three words: i give head
three words: not that well
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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