That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm at about main and main street
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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