All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
