North Korea, Best Korea!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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