yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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