Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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