Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
