i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
