Tell her she can't have a vagina
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
