so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
