I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
