Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
