i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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