Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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