it was like eating out sand paper
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
