I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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