We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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