I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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