he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
