have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
