i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
