Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
