I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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