We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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