tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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