is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize