belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
