I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
