bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
